by Athena Brady

Created on: November 08, 2009   Last Updated: November 16, 2009

There are numerous reasons a person may dwell on the past. Some people have had horrendous pasts and suffered unspeakable tortures. Which may have included physical abuse and/or sexual abuse. How do these terrible experiences effect people in their day to day life ? Some people may have mental health issues, such as bi polar or personality disorders etc. Others withdraw from life as we know it, in a bid to protect themselves. Some people will never get past their past, as the damage to their psyche is just too much. Dwelling on the past serves many functions to the individuals concerned.

Some may use it as a tool so they never make the same mistake again. Others, will turn against the world for not protecting them and may become abusers themselves. There are others who use the past against others to get what they want. Maybe their husband/ wife/parents once did something unwise and they constantly revisit it, for their own purposes. They may get what they want from the other person by doing this.

Is dwelling on the past a wise thing to do ? Yes maybe initially, to sort through the reasons why and to gain understanding. In this way the person can prevent this happening in the future, so in this case, it may be positive move. Constantly dwelling on say a negative past, stops us from moving forward with our lives. Whilst concentrating on positive things can actually move us forward to a better place.

A negative past can be a good thing when we are in a better place. We can use our experiences to help others, to motivate them and give then strength. The things that happen to us make us the person we are today. You may have gone in Social Work or other Caring Professions etc, because you wanted to make a difference to people who are struggling. Maybe, you met someone and assisted them in some way and this spurred you on to do it again, for someone else. Whatever your motivation, one thing is sure, we are to some extent the things that have happened to us. Whether we use that for good or bad is our choice entirely, we can either choose to move forward or choose to let the past define us, today.

If you have painful haunting memories of your past try your hardest to let them go. If you don't, you are still allowing your abuser power over you. Dwelling on the past in a negative way only creates toxicity for you and those around you. Finally, if you come across someone a little different and difficult, think, before you judge them. Who knows what is in another persons head and what their journey has been ? If you treat them with disdain and disrespect you may be reinforcing their negative view of the world. However, if you take a leap of faith and treat them with kindness and respect; you may in fact, be the first person to have ever touched them positively and in some extreme cases you may even save their lives.

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