by Rochelle Foulk

Created on: November 08, 2009

The unhealthy version 3.0 (Updated from 1981)

1. In a relationship for the wrong reasons:
a. bored
b. afraid of being alone
c. children
d. Fell in love
e. control
f. Sex either dominating drive or no drive
g. Feeling insecure or doubtful

2. The relationship runs its course anywhere from 2 weeks to 15 years (results vary on the depth of your illusion of love)

3. The actual reason you entered the relationship becomes the reason you seek to get out.

4. Created an experience to end the relationship.
a. Cheat
b. lie (a whopper or small, lie is a lie after all. Forgiveness is dependant on degree and person's view of what forgiveness is.)
c. Leave in the middle of the day or night (without confrontation)
d. fight and yell, say things that bring about the end of the relationship (Note this adds more guilt to the pile you already were holding.)
e. Become withdrawn, non participatory when questioned become accusatory and belligerent.
Note: this avenue works well for the victim. ie; Its not my fault, they left. I was left for no real reason at all.
f. Testing. This involves a series of elaborate set ups to "test" the love of the other person.
Note: The actual answer key isn't available because the "tester" is in fact testing themselves usually out of fear that this could really work or the opposite I don't know what the hell I am doing.
Passing such a test is impossible in the eyes of the "tester." The test is devised not to actually test or challenge a person but to see how far they can be pushed to leave. ( refer to letter E. for use of this method)

5. The end of the relationship. You are alone, sulk and read emails on the internet. The friendships you made have been neglected during the "Cloister Period."

6. Actually start to live, make new friends, do new things. Meet someone interesting.

7.Phone calls, texts, emails and instant messaging occurs. This bolsters the feeling, "Yes! I have done it, I have found the one, wait.. no I can't say that. I am floored. I am overwhelmed. Shit."

8. See new friends to ensure that you haven't gone off the deep end. See old friends, even make friends with your ex.

9. The banter between the "new friend" and you continue, it escalates. The first kiss, the first sexual encounter, the first date, the first drive, the first hand holding... omg could it be real?

10. More contact, daily if not every other day, (don't want to appear to desperate)

11. Make plans with friends, break them at the last minute. Neglect home, responsibilities and life in general.

12. Tell

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