by Melody Landeros

Created on: November 08, 2009   Last Updated: December 03, 2009

The phone rang and I picked it up. A voice on the other side asked, Are you Melody Landeros?

I replied, Yes I am. Who is calling?

A voice replied quietly, This is the Queen of the Valley Hospital. I am sorry to tell you, but your grandmother, Bessie Hilpipre, passed away in her sleep last night.

I gasped and dropped the phone and began to cry. Grandma dead? I could not believe the news.

For weeks after the phone call I replayed the events repeatedly in my mind, the call, the cremation arrangements, and a simple ceremony. Grandma was not a woman who liked a lot of what she called fuss and bother.

Grief has an odd way of taking over your life I realized as I found myself feeling angry, sad, depressed and suddenly bursting in tears. Grandma had been such a huge figure in my life. She taught me to cook, to garden, to look for the best in people and to always see a glass as half full. I loved Mom, but Grandma held a special place in my heart.

My best friend came to visit one day, concerned about my sadness. He looked at me and said, Melody, grief is natural, but somehow you need to go into acceptance she is gone, and let the healing begin.

I burst into tears hearing his words. Somehow hearing those words made the event more real. He handed me tissues and silently watched me cry. I knew that he was right, but healing would not be an easy task.

Jordan, I was so close to Grandma. She was my best friend and confidant. How am I supposed to do this? I feel a huge hole in my heart I don't know how to fill.

Jordan studied me, deep in thought. One thing you and your grandmother loved was gardening. Working with the Earth may start your healing.

He waited a moment and continued softly, Why not make a special place in your garden and plant your grandmother's favorite flowers or plants.

I thought about the suggestion and sighed. I had spent so little time in my garden since the news. I felt exhausted all the time, even after sleeping. The thought of digging a section up and making that garden required energy and commitment I was uncertain that I possessed.

Before he left, I promised him I would think about his suggestion. For two weeks, I mulled over the idea. One day I went out into the garden and saw a small yellow butterfly flutter by. I paused for a moment watching the butterfly disappear into the blue sky. I walked to my garden tools and picked up a small shovel.

With the first touch of the earth, I felt a peace start to fill me. The more I dug, the better I felt.

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