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Love & Lust

How to tell if it's love or just lust

Hmm, this may seem like a difficult question, but it is not. Before I explain what love is, let me tell you what it is not.

1. LOVE IS NOT GIVING COMPLETELY OF YOURSELF. Many times, especially women, have a tendency to loose ourself in a relationship. We tend to give up who we are, and try to become everything our partner wants us to be. Being in love does not mean giving up our principals /our main core/ that what makes us who we are. Individualism should never be sacrificed under ANY circumstances. I become very frustrated when I hear abused women stay in a relationship because "they love him so much." Loving someone else does not mean not loving oneself. A mother who decides to turn in her child for murder does not love their child? Or does it mean she is standing by her core principal of believing murder is wrong?

2. LOVE IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT APOLOGIZE. I could never get behind "love means not having to say you're sorry" phrase. If you love someone, and you hurt their feelings, why wouldn't you want to apologize?

3.LOVE IS NOT SACRIFICE. Love is about having a two way street. Finding a common ground where both parties are happy is the key factor of love. Sometimes we all have to do either or. However, before that road is taken, every avenue possible should be explored before determining which road. Love is about compromise, not sacrifice.

4. LOVE IS NOT...Ask someone in a relationship what do they love about their partner. If they say...

"because they make me laugh/ because I feel wonderful around them/ because they make me feel good.." This person is NOT in love. If someone is in love because of what their partner makes THEM feel, they are headed down the wrong path.

Okay, so what is love

1. LOVE IS PUTTING THE OTHER PERSON FIRST. This should not be confused with giving up of oneself completely. You can put a loved one first by communicating first before making decisions. See how they feel, allowing them the due respect of participating, especially if it involves them in any way.

2.LOVE Is FORGIVING. This should not be confused with knowing when to not give too much of self, also. (i.e, There is a way to forgive an abuser, and get the hell away from them also.) This especially go out to the women; If you accept your partner's apology, then accept it completely. Don't hold it for ammunition on a later date. That is vengeful, not loving

3.Ask someone in a relationship what do they love about their partner. If they say...

Because they are smart/they are funny/ my partner's outlook on life is beautiful/ because they are great.." They are in love. Can you notice the difference? Their answers are based on their partner...not what their partner does for them.

I hope this clarifies any confusion as to what is love, and what is not. Until next time, be safe. Oh, and I love you all! ;)

Learn more about this author, Lady Love.
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