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We've all been there before, you've met someone you're drawn to physically, you've liaised and exchanged numbers; they have features and characteristics that you admire in a partner and you've arranged to go to a movie and dinner. You spend the entire day fantasying about that person, exchanging flirtatious text messages and your stomach is full of butterflies, nothing can bring you down and because you're nervous and want to impress your date, you take an extra half an hour preparing yourself to look your best. The evening goes great, you laughed, have common tastes in music and dogs, they look fantastic and you can't wait to see them raw. But it's only the first date what should you do? The questions start piling in your mind. You like them but what will sex on the first date mean tomorrow? You've only just met this person and don't know them that well, what if sex on the first date lowers the chances of a relationship?

Here are a few tips when deciding. Firstly, ask what you want from this person and what they want from you. Usually your instincts will work for you and you'll be able to gage what the other person wants. The best thing to do is go with the flow and not to think, just act. It is all about confidence. If a person is happy within their own life, then it will not matter whether you have sex on the first date or not because you are not relying on the other person to make you happy. If the sex on the first date leads to successive dates and then a relationship, then that's obviously what was going to occur. Ultimately sex is all about trust, respect and self worth - how much do you put an emphasis on sex being emotional? This is different for everyone. Not everybody is looking for a relationship and if that is communicated on a first date then that will determine whether or not you get down and dirty, sometimes if you sense that they're only trying to get in and out it is better to be upfront.

If you like the person but you're not completely certain about their intentions or them, then there is no problem in waiting, to be sure. If that person likes you and wants to earn your trust they will respect your request and they will work for the privilege. Sometimes it is better to take time to know what you and the other person wants, because if you're on different pages you're never going to go far anyway and it may be best not to have sex on that first date.

It simply comes down to similarities to determine whether you have sex on the first date or not; the more aligned your attitudes the more decisive the decision to have sex on the first date will be. Do you have physical chemistry? Do you have mental chemistry? Are you both after the same things? Do you have similar goals for the future? Now I don't mean 2.5 kids, a white picket fence and Golden Retriever. I'm talking about short to mid-term common interests what you both like and do now and want in a couple of months time. Do you have similar backgrounds and does the other person interest you? Do they inspire you or have a unique point of view that you want to know more about? Does their personality compliment yours and do you feel that they're honest? If you trust the other person and you both know where you stand then it won't matter when you first get physical because ultimately it comes down to the level of communication and mutual trust for the other person that matters. As Jiminy Cricket says "let your conscience be your guide."

Learn more about this author, Ingrid Bruggestrass.
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