My dear sweet mother of 76 years of age has stood by my side since I was born. We have shared great times together as well as hard times, but one thing for sure is she has always been by my side, no matter what. We have had to, in many instances grow together. One intance of which occured recently was a disagreement we had on a subject matter that now really seems all too insignificant. She talked of how a little boy was loved by a mighty tree and how the tree gave and gave to this little boy to make him happy. My mother has done the same for me. The little story ends with the little boy asked by the tree to rest against all the tree has left from all her giving is her roots.
My dear mother seemed to be saying to me that she was this tree and had given all of herself to make her children happy. This is so true and has allowed me the privilege to have been blessed by the grace of her loving me from her selfless heart. At times I have been desiring to leave home and live my life according to my childhood dreams. I have not ever really lived far from home but have always felt the wanderlust in my heart to travel. This has been my greatest dream and I believe my mother's greatest fear. On this, we seem to disagree and have argued the point of me stifling my dreams to comfort mother. After all, I have a brother and a sister who both have traveled extensively and I feel it is now my time.
Mother shared this story with me of the mighty tree and being as we are both seniors, myself am 55, have missed out on alot. So she wrote me an email of this story and I pondered on it for some time and finally answered her slowly but with much love and grace in my heart. I exclaimed to her that her story was a very touching story and that I was happy she had sent it for it made me very happy. Though discontented a bit, I responded with grace.
I told her, "Mother, as we both grow older into out senior years, you are a tree who has provided so much support and love for all your children. For this I am thankful. I know you have been the 'tree in my life' and a strong woman. But I am a tree also, and have a need to grow. Tree branches all reach for the sun, twisting and turning, all up against each other. They produce fruit and give back again. I know as a tree I do not wish to stop producing fruit but desire to grow past the fenceline. Sure, I know trees are pruned and cut back to produce sweeter fruit. But as you travel to my house one day, out in the country, please, take notice of all the mighty Oaks that are immensely large, strong and beautiful. They have lived a long, long life and have provided shade to many. They grew in the direction the sun gave them to grow. For me this is opportunity, to grow into the man I had hoped to be. To make friends as the tree did, and to nurture and to grow strong and tall. More importantly is to serve its God given purpose. This is what I need for growth.
"It has not ever been my desire to lose you or to pain you, though at times I have maybe taken you for granted, everyone does at some time need someone to confide in. You are someon I trust. I have had many friends, (and a brother and a sister), who had the chance to grow just like they wanted and it so happened they had to be transplanted. This is what I feel strongly I need to be successful.
"Scripture does say that 'a man must leave his mother and cleave to his wife.'This is all we desire to do. This opportunity I deserve after 30 years of facing an illness and being alone. To grow the way the sun shapes me. Not to be cut to pieces as in pruning but to grow in freedom and with grace andbeauty and strength. I need this mother, terribly so.
"It does not mean you will lose me for surely one day you will be resting against my roots. I love you mom, and always will. But even at the age of 55 I must grow the way the sun takes me. You will always be with me in my heart. I will always remember the beautiful tree that nourished and always wanted to play with me providing me with shade and a place to rest. You are always in my heart."
Mothers are special. And as much as I have hoped to travel and grow in the lovely direction of the sun, I somehow desire to stay close to my mother, for her, because she is my senior by 20 years and God bless her, I will always desire to be near her. My wife and I have talked and have decided to stay closer to home, for mom, and her well deserved peace of mind and restful heart. I know this is what she would want. I love you dearly mother. Your Loving Son.