Listen, all you well-meaning women
Just stay out of my way
Because I'm the chef in this house
Every Thanksgiving Day!
I've worked in many restaurants
And learned to cook at my Mother's knee
She taught me if you cook for 20
You might as well cook for 93!
No one turns down an invitation
They can have seconds, or even a third
There's plenty of food on the table
Even a second bird!
But after the feast, I could use a hand
For packing, wrapping and storing
But everyone is passed out in front of the tube
Belts loose, and comfortably snoring
So I get out the foil and plastic wrap
And every possible kind of container
I set aside the food for the rest of the week
And freeze up the remainder
It took quite a while, but the job is done
The leftovers are safe and snug
I grab a glass and go to see
If there's any more wine in the jug
But in the room the crowd is stirring
Their wits are coming back
Hey, we're all kind of hungry
Can we get a little snack?
So out come all the leftovers
Some want turkey, some want pie
I just go lie down on the couch
To close my eyes and die!