by Melody Hadden

Created on: November 06, 2009   Last Updated: November 03, 2011

It is possible to have a happy blended family? Yes, it is possible to have a happy blended family, but it isn't always easy.

Time magazine wrote an article about indicators of a couple staying together until, "death do us part."  According to Time,

"If this is a second marriage, for either bride or groom, their odds of divorce are somewhat higher. Remarried families have more complex issues to confront: exes to deal with, and stepchildren to raise. But this risk is often overstated; a middle-class second marriage has only 3% more risk than a first marriage. "

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,12097 84,00.html#ixzz1ceHWteVG

My husband and I have a combined family of six children.  We knew before getting married that second marriages have a slightly increased divorce rate, but we also knew that we weren't just a statistic.  We love each other and we love all of our children.  Love is a wonderful thing, but patience and understanding are equally important in blended families.

My husband and I have both been married once before and we both have children from our respective marriages. We met and within a couple of weeks we both knew that we were soul mates. We were married about six months after our soul mate realization, we have been happily married, and living as a happy blended family for three years.

Dealing with former spouses can be a chore for anyone, but having step children is a blessing.  It is easier to develop and grow relationships with your step children the younger their age may be at the time of your marriage and combining of families.  My husband and I had children that ranged in age of 1 year to 14 years old.  We found that the younger children adapted to our newly blended family the same way children adapt to new classmates each school year.  Our oldest two children were respectful, but it took them about a year to a year and a half to feel like a complete family.

The key for our family was to find common interests that ALL of us could partake in. My husband and I love The University of Texas Longhorns Football program. We tailgate before all home games and we regularly attend the home games. We found that our children all liked to tailgate and we also found that they have a lot of spunk and team spirit.  It was this "love of the game," that brought us all together.

Religion is also important to our family.  We regularly attend church together as a family and with money permitting, we eat a nice family lunch after church and talk about our upcoming week.  

The most important thing to remember, is that children living in blended families do have other parents that they love. It is important to respect the relationship of your step child(ren) and the relationship that they have with both of their biological parents.  Respecting your step child's relationship with their other parent will enable them to respect you as a step parent and respecting the relationship that your step child(ren) have with your spouse will benefit the entire family. 

No one hopes that when they grow up they will get married, divorced, and remarried with a total of six children combined...BUT now after experiencing the joy and laughter of my new blended family...I wouldn't have it any other way!   God Bless you and your family as you may be considering this new journey of a happy blended family.

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