For the most part low self esteem starts in the home, particularly in troubled and dysfunctional families. In the earliest years of life when a child is just beginning to form impressions about the world, what he/she is told by the parents can a profound impact on the psyche. Parents are the foundation of every child's self image. Teachers, friends and society at large all play important roles. Low self esteem could manifest itself as cynicism, an inability to tolerate stress and even physical illness.

Low self esteem is hard to overcome because many people tend to blame their difficulties on external sources. A mean boss, racial/religious prejudice, an abusive family member or lover don't help to elevate self esteem, but the real problem is how the person regards him/herself at the deepest level. When the problem is externalized, somebody with low self esteem is moved away from the real source of the trouble - and the solution.

The vicious cycle that forms as a result of low self esteem can be illustrated in this way. By shunning the risk of failure, the immediate response from somebody with low self esteem will be "I can't do it," which confirms their feeling of incompetence. Consequently there will be no accomplishments made and low self esteem will sink even further. The power of thinking dictates that if a person believes that he/she will fall, it will actually happen.

Being paralyzed by doubt and fear is a terrible way to live. It's a reality that low self esteem sufferers cannot easily escape from. Relationships and jobs will pass them by. Friends and family members will distance themselves gradually or all at once. When one focuses on his/her perceived flaws, perfectionism takes hold and the most basic tasks never get done.

Do criminal tendencies arise from low self esteem? Yes, I believe they do. Do husbands who abuse their wives have low self esteem? There's not a doubt in my mind that they do. Low self esteem is thought to be the root cause of so many social problems, everything from educational failure to drug abuse/alcoholism and suicide.

In the workplace employees with low self esteem will be less likely to volunteer for challenging assignments and will be a convenient target for abuse and criticism. Bosses can have low self esteem. An easy way to recognize this is if he/she is hesitant to make decisions or refuses to mediate workplace disputes.

To overcome low esteem will take the courage to love oneself and to accept one's flaws. Positive affirmations and the willingness to make big lifestyle changes are the only ways to turn it around. This is a choice and only you can make it. You've got to take all the terrible, insulting and hurtful things that people have said to you all these years and throw it out as you would a bag of garbage. Drown out those negative recordings in your head with soothing, loving messages.

Before you know it you'll be happier then you've ever thought possible.

Learn more about this author, Scott Hayden.
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