by Lenee Daniels

Created on: November 06, 2009

Training for successful life transitions starts now, whatever age your child may be. When you teach a child to tie her shoes, you are preparing her to be self-sufficient. When you intervene during a verbal fight between your child's neighborhood friends, you may be planting seeds for enhanced conflict resolution and communication skills. So, preparing your teen for psychological transitions after high school starts with your relationship and involvement with them all through their childhood. Jump to the bottom of this article for a summary of eleven steps I have found useful when transitioning teens to adulthood.

Only about 20 to 30 percent of adolescents have any major problems with making the necessary transitions to adulthood. Being available to them as a resource, support, and sympathetic ear is imperative as they move that way. We all know the parent who is "overly" involved in their children's lives so, as always, balance is the key. It isn't that you are in their business 24/7 but it is that you are there when they need you and most importantly, understand and accept versus criticize and lecture. As they grow through their teen years, space should gradually increase with the process, allowing them to feel your anchor but be their own person. That includes making their own mistakes and painfully biting your tongue at times.

The importance of the parent-child relationship was reported in a recent study on teens leaving home "late" or returning home to live after an initial departure. In European Psychologist, this study suggests that the amount of parental support in adolescence is related to when teens leave home and whether it sticks (http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/epp/14/3/238/). Active parental involvement influences necessary psychological abilities to move out and on into adulthood.

Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Sharma ( http://www.mindpub.com/art004.htm) states that healthy parental bonding helps adolescents to become independent and autonomous. She reports that a study of undergraduate freshmen shows that students feel closer to their families after they leave home and these closer ties promote greater independence and self responsibility. Students who have been given a secure base at home are more likely to form friendships, make good grades, and feel more satisfied with life in college. A harmonious relationship with parents leads to a feeling of psychological well-being in students. They believe that their parents want them to be independent

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