by Beauregard Fox

Created on: November 06, 2009   Last Updated: November 08, 2009

The simple answer to this question is, "yes, 'fag' can be used in a way that isn't negative." A more complete answer has to delve in to shades of meaning.

To begin with, I am a gay man, and I use the word "fag" all the time. I call myself a fag, I jokingly call one of my gay friends a fag - I even call some of my straight friends fags if they do something that's more stereotypically associated with gay men than with straight men. Is there any harm in using the word so freely and loosely? I think not.

Any insulting word gets its power from when, where, and how it is used. African Americans can freely use the "N" word among themselves as a sign of camaraderie and brotherhood. They use it to connect themselves, and thus rob the word of its power to harm and spread hate. The same principle applies to other words commonly associated with hate speech.

If society tries to actively discourage the use of a word, it lends to the power of using that word. If, for example, the word "God" was banned from public discourse, then uttering the word would have a much stronger impact on the listener than it might otherwise. But if the word is thrown around freely, it loses that sway over people.

As mentioned above, I use the word "fag" all the time. I feel vindicated in using the word by being a member of the group of people that word describes. But I also take no offense when others use the word, even if they use it as an insult against me. Because I'm so used to using the word, and happily accept the label, it has lost its power to insult or hurt me.

Given this, I would like to put forward a radical proposition: the use of "insulting" words like "fag" should be actively encouraged, by everyone. The more the word "fag" comes in to common usage, the less its effect will become. Over time, the word could very well lose its insulting connotation entirely.

Particularly in the case of the English language, words can change their meaning by virtue of the way they are used. Therefore, the use of the word "fag" in other, non-insulting connotations could potentially create a shift in the definition, and leave behind its use as an insult.

As a final note, the word "fag" IS, in fact, used in a non-negative connotation in society. In Britain, "fag" is a widely used slang term for a cigarette. So if a British person walks up to you with a hand out and asks for a "fag," offer a cigarette, or reply, "I don't smoke."

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