by Charlene Iannella

Created on: November 06, 2009

Carrie and Big finally have their first date after seeing each other all over New York City. She wears the naked dress and they have sex that night. Did fate bring them together, their innate chemistry and magnetism pull them into bed or was Carrie breaking the ultimate rule if a lasting relationship is to be had: hold out on sex. Depending on who you are, the answer is different but seeing the two of them lying on the floor of the cheap hotel they went to, not many weren't inwardly cheering. For some, sex on the first date is cheap and indicative of a purely physical connection that most likely will never grow into a love relationship. For others, it is empowering to women, to be able to cast off society's judgments and follow their feelings, whether physical or emotional.

Sex on the first date has always been a no. Every girl's mom and best guy friend will tell her to wait for sex, especially if she likes the guy. This goes to one of the most enduring male/female stereotypes, that men are only interested in sex and once a woman gives it up, he's gone. So in order to catch the man, sex must be held out on a string, just out of his reach, until finally he's ready to be reeled in. Of course, there are exceptions, there are always men who may fall in love with the girl anyway but they are primarily depicted as mythical creatures to the sexually inexperienced young lady. In other words, he may be there, right alongside a unicorn that may also exist.

Then there is the Sex and the City lesson, that two people can be drawn immediately together and still engage in a big love that spans time, or a series, to love everlasting. It's empowering to women, to be on equal footing with men and not the weaker sex. It implies that women hold more power than just their ability to dole out sex, but are mentally and emotionally strong enough to do exactly what men can do. Maybe they'll fall in love, maybe not, but both genders have grown up enough to accept it and move forward.

The truth is both hold true. There are still times when the balance is unequal and sex is used as a tool by women, because they are dating archaic men that don't truly respect women. There are times when both people can feel something and go for it, knowing whatever happens will happen. And like everything in life, there are always times when one person feels more for another and whether the sex happens on the first date or the last, that person will end up hurt. However it works out, sex is powerful for men and women. People let their guard down to become physically and emotionally naked which should never be devalued. There was a guy I knew once that I just wouldn't sleep with, even though we'd flirted and dated because I just wanted him to be a little something more. I have no idea where he is right now, I have no doubt we wouldn't have worked out in the long run but deep down, I wish I had gone for it. Some people deserve the intimacy of a moment even if it never becomes something more. After all, life is about the moments, especially the most naked ones.

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