by Sara J. Petersen

Created on: November 06, 2009   Last Updated: November 08, 2009

It is somewhat normal for a young woman to feel desperate. She is at a time of change, and may feel unsure of herself. Life has many points of change that can send us for a loop. Women in general are also exposed to a barrage of false information in the media that suggests you are only worth something if you are in a relationship or popular amongst certain peers. Almost every song on the radio is either a break up song or a relationship song. Movies are much the same. Much of the media also insist that a young woman must be sexually active regardless of whether love or marriage are there or not.

If you are in this stage of life, young or old, know this. You are more than what you see in the mirror and more than what we compare ourselves to on TV. We are our own worst enemies. We put ourselves down, and refuse to see our true beauty. We worry about our weight, our makeup, our clothes, and even our noses. You are more beautiful that you believe.

I once learned an important lesson about how much the way we see ourselves affects what others see in us. In high school, I was almost bone skinny with long red hair. Other than the 'almost bone' part, I was fairly attractive, and I knew it. I thought that when I turned sixteen guys would practically stand in line. The fact is, they didn't. Though I did see myself as being easy on the eyes, I did not feel much for self worth. I believed I was shy, and that nobody really cared that I existed. This was the part of me that was portrayed to the world. It wasn't until about age 20 that I finally realized what the problem was. Man or no man, I needed to believe in myself. To believe that I was capable of great things.

All of us are capable of great things. We are each blessed with individual talents. Everything from a love for laughter, to musical abilities. We can all make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. Here are three things that can help you get started on being confident without being with someone else:

1. Make Goals- "When you have nothing to shoot for, your life is shot." Unknown Author. Goals give us a direction to go, a way to always be progressing. Goals are also a personal thing. They don't need to involve others all the time. Though some goals need to be made with others in your life.

2. Choose Not to be Offended- Believe it or not, being offended is a choice! Often offences are imagined up in our heads more than they are really intended by others, and even if they did mean offence, they are the one with a problem. If someone says something that tempts you to be offended, think it over. If you really think what they said is something you could change to make yourself better, do it. If not realize that they maybe having a bad day, or just have a bad attitude period.

3. Live YOUR Life- You are an individual with an unwritten story. Don't let Hollywood writers write your story for you, by giving your life over to the television. You are not your favorite soap opera or sitcom character, and you don't want to be. You are whoever you decide to be, and you can have an impact in this world.

In short be cheerful, keep moving forward, and live each day to the fullest. You will find that being alone is not so scary, and also that you won't be alone for long. As your confidence grows so will your ability to attract others to you. The good ones will love you for you. Old friends that seemed to use and abuse you will be replaced with friends and companions that will grow with you. You will be examples to each other, and you won't be lonely even when you're alone. Keep your chin up, and never give up.

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