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Teen advice: How to tell if you're ready for sex

by Sunshine Simmons

Created on: November 06, 2009

Emotions are high, you think you're in love, kissing is turning to petting, and you find yourself asking, "Am I ready for sex?"

Even if you think you're sure that you're ready to have sex for the first time, there are some things you need to know. Sex is the most personal experience you can share with another person, but if you don't have the facts, it can lead to all sorts of horrible things. Some are so drastic that they can change your life forever, or even kill you.

How do you know if you're ready? Here are some questions you need to ask yourself before you decide if having sex is right for you.


1.How well do you know your partner?

You may think you know some one just because you've been going out with them for a while, but how well do you really know them? Do you know if they've had sex before? How many people have they had sex with? Have they been tested for STDs? Are they willing to take the time to talk to you about your concerns, or are they only interested in having sex for the sake of having sex? Have you been going out for over a year? If you haven't, there is no way you can know them well enough to even consider thinking about making a decision to have sex.

After having sex, you may feel like you've done something wrong, or that you're very vulnerable. If you decide to have sex, you need to make sure it's with some one who you are very comfortable with that will talk to you about your feelings afterward. It's best if you wait until you're married, but don't ever do it with some one you're not in love with. That doesn't mean some one you have a really big crush on. Love is different than lust. If you don't know the difference, having sex is a bad choice for you right now.


2.Are you being pressured?

Are you thinking about having sex because you want to, or because you feel like your boyfriend or girlfriend wants you to? Have they used phrases like:

"Everyone is having sex" "It will be great, I promise" "If you love me, you'll do it" "Don't you want our relationship to move to the next level?" "I won't hurt you"

If so, then they are pressuring you into having sex. This is wrong. No one should ever pressure some one else into having sex. That's sexual abuse. When you share your body with some one else, it's the most special gift you can give anyone, and it needs to be treated like a special gift. Sex is not something you do because you need to get it out of the way. If you're feeling pressured even a little bit, you are not ready for sex. If you

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