by Carole Devine

Created on: November 05, 2009

The concept of a perfect relationship, like that of a 'just war,' is oxymoronic in nature. While a skater may be able to do a perfect double axel or an opera star may hit a perfect high c, human beings haven't been able to sustain a state of perfection for any long period of time. It's just not in our nature. We seem to be inherently designed to make mistakes but, thankfully, we are also designed to learn from these mistakes. And, while perfection as a continuous state whether in a relationship or in a society - will always remain elusive, we must continue to strive for it. It is in our striving for perfection that we grow as individuals and we improve our lot as a species.

Unless I could point you towards some Utopia out there on another planet, I can offer no suggestions on how to build a perfect relationship. Since we are talking about relationships between human beings, there can and will be no perfect one. However, there are certain qualities you can look for in a mate and several things you both can make a conscious effort to do to build an 'almost perfect' relationship, and I offer them here.

1. Make sure that he or she is your friend.

Can you see yourself doing more with this person than just getting physical? What are her beliefs? How does he treat others, especially his family? How does she treat the wait staff when you go out to dinner? Do you trust him? Is she honest? Does he sit there while you cook or clean up, not offering to help? Does she mercilessly criticize your friends when they're not around? How is he around children? Does she make you laugh? Most importantly, are you ok with the answers to these questions? The fact is, as time goes on, while you still need that physical attraction that brings us all together, you'll need someone who can be a complete partner to you as well. If it's all about the sex and you can't even hold a conversation with this person that doesn't involve a heavy amount of dirty talk, you need to say goodbye because it's just going to go bad very quickly.

1. Have some common interests.

You don't have to have everything in common, but have at least a few similar interests. If you want your relationship to last, you are going to have to spend time together and it's nice if this time together is spent doing things you both enjoy. Everyone needs to have their own interests, but too often, we hear the stories of couples whose children grow up and move out and they are left with nothing to talk about or do together

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>