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Living with people with BPD is an understatement because at many times you are not living, but merely surviving. I happen to have a daughter and a boyfriend with BPD. Now that I have an understanding of the disorder, I suddenly realize that my x-husband of 25 years also has a form of this disorder. I have wondered if there is something in my personality that may be drawing people with this disorder to me. I am a co-dependent daughter of an alcoholic.

My daughter is a bright, talented 18 year old. All her life she has been shy and introverted. Raised with three other very outgoing siblings, she was always the one who stayed in her room and did not have many friends. Her siblings always referred to her as "living in J's world". She is extremely talented, had never had a behavior problem in school and got good grades. It was for those reasons, although deep in my heart I knew something was wrong, that I did not pursue any early counseling for her. It wasn't until after she went to college and her father and I were divorced that the problems surfaced.

She began making suicide attempts while away at college, and during the summer after her first year, I had to cut her down from the belt she had around her neck tied to her closet rack. The last suicide attempt put her in the hospital for 5 days after she swallowed half her bottle of zoloft. She is in therapy now and it seems to be helping at times. She has always been quick to anger and it seems that anger turns to rage more frequently, even on medication. She has a volatile relationship with her boyfriend and will try to cut herself in his presence.

I read the book "Walking on Eggshells", and it was then that I realized that my boyfriend has BPD also. He exhibits rage for no reason at times. He is very distrustful of me, unreasonably so. He has thrown my cell phone in the lake, checks and prints out my emails, checks my cell phone messages and constantly accuses me of having relationships with others, including women. He has mandated that I not have any friendships outside of our relationship and even with some family members he deems are not good for me. He constantly threatens to end the relationship. Being at fault is not possible for him to imagine, it's always me, he is a god. I am not to be compared to him, as he is perfect and I am "just human". I know this all seems hopeless, but I fell so deeply in love with him when I first met him, it is now difficult to just break off the relationship. There are still

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