by Hgomez

Created on: November 05, 2009

If you could blueprint plans for the perfect relationship, you would run poor old Dr. Phil off the airways. That word, "perfect" is one that our society craves so bad. Think about it, we are searching for that elusive perfect meal, job, vacation, house, diet, and mate. Unfortunately, relationships are real, and finding a perfect one is about as possible as finding the fountain of youth. The reality of this topic is that you won't build a perfect one, but can you build a relationship that is happy, manageable and sustaining? With the divorce rate in America hovering around, to almost over, that 50% mark, it is more important to building a relationship that works and lasts, rather than to dream of perfection.

If you are willing to put the work into your relationship, it can be turned into something that is manageable, one that makes you happy, and one that will last. Sit down and decide what the areas of your relationship that need work, write them down, and then find the solutions to them. The easiest way to think of solutions is to pretend the areas you think need work are areas that YOU are presented with. How would you solve them? Then what is the most appropriate way to arrive at your solution? Make sure your solution is rational and within reach. If money were a problem, an appropriate solution to that problem would not be winning the lottery, but maybe a part-time job a couple of days per week would be doable.

Once you define those areas that need to be worked on, you need to communicate to your partner the problem. This is the tricky part of the solution. If you "attack" your mate with dozens upon dozens of things that need to be worked on, you are not creating an environment that will lead you to the road of perfection, instead, you will slide off that highway causing damage. It is easiest to pick one or two areas that need work (maybe one fairly important, and one easily fixed, IE: You scream at me every time you are frustrated, and you don't pick up your dirty clothes and put them into the hamper). Communication is the key. The best rule of advice is that your communication should be like holding a butterfly. If it is gentle, it will live. If your communication is clenched and violent, then it will die.

Be willing to hear criticism on things that you need to work on. Again, be realistic. Don't think for a minute that you are perfect, and your partner is the only flawed part of this equation. If you present your plan, including yourself as a part of

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