by Jennifer Barnett

Created on: November 05, 2009

Infidelity is more common these days than fidelity. More and more people these days are finding pleasurable company in another persons arms that is not their spouse. Some do it for no particular reason at all, other than they want their spouses to pay more attention to them. Shocking to say, some people marry the person that has cheated on them numerous times when they were dating. Thinking that if they married them, they would change their ways. Things are never that simple nor are they fixed that easily.

Ever wondered what the world would be like, if everyone stayed faithful to each other? Would there be less drama to broadcast on television, and to write in newspapers? After all, half the shows that are on television now are about someone cheating. You see it in Soap Operas, movies, reality shows, and talk shows. Trying to forgive a person who has cheated on you is hard. If they have cheated on you several times, with several partners, it's even harder. Trust has been broken between you and your spouse, or lover. All kinds of thoughts start to creep up in your mind. Did they practice safe sex? Is it someone you know, that they have cheated with? Should you get checked out for any STD's? Do they have children with the person or persons they were with? Are they going to break it off with them, now that you know about it? The list goes on and on making you paranoid, not to mention emotional.

Some people begin to question themselves. They wonder if they did something wrong to make their partners be unfaithful to them? The real question is, how do you get past what they have done? Marriage counseling is a good place to start. Some people will choose to meet with the pastor of their church. While others will seek out a licensed therapist for help. Talking about it in a neutral environment is best. Both you and your partner must be willing to deal with the situation. One person is not enough, when you are trying to build a relationship back up that has been torn down.

Family members are not always the best people to talk to when it comes to touchy topics, such as this. They tend to let their emotions get involved, and they feel the need to confront your spouse on your behalf. Which means something that could have been dealt with between you two, has now become the spark to set a bomb off with your in-laws. This goes for friends too. They feel like it is their right to want to help you, but chances vary one to ten the help they are trying to give you is positive. That is why it is generally best to leave them out of it. Especially if you want your relationship to survive. This decision must be made by you and your partner.

Getting past infidelity takes lots of patience, time, and prayer. Even if you decide to forgive that person, there will always be a part of you that will remember what they have done. Some people just can't get past it, and refuse to stay in a relationship with their partner or spouse. When this happens, it tends to make it harder for the next person that they try to have a relationship with. Simply, because they are always wondering if the person they are with now will be unfaithful to them as well. Ultimately, they must learn to forgive the person who has cheated, or they will not be able to have healthy, trusting relationships thereafter.

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