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Unless you are an extremely outgoing and happy person, do not marry a negative person, and even then that person will drain you and cause you to resent them in the long-run.

I come from a long line of very happy, outgoing people; some of us are considered crazy, but we are a happy crazy. When I met my husband to be, he seemed nice enough, but I should have noticed when I met his parents that they were extremely negative. They were nice, but nothing was ever good enough; according to them, the neighbors, friends, and people they worked with were idiots and they found no good word to say about anyone.

Being dumb as a stump and thinking my happiness would shed and spread making them all happy people, I became family. They hated me, probably still do although they are dead now - well except my husband and his brother who is married to someone who also hates me; but then we don't associate with them anyway.

Back when we were first married, I was expected to go to the in-law's house for dinner on holidays and not to my parent's. All my family traditions were shattered and once there were children it was worse. They could not be children, they had to sit still and be silent. My kids were all ADHD, happy, and noisy so it was a great strain on everyone at holidays. My husband ended up being like his parents and did not want to go anywhere or do anything including visiting my side of the family. And those were the happy times.

Now, God forbid that someone will stop by for a visit and interrupt his beer time, dinner time, or sleep time. There can never be an allowance made for a birthday dinner for one of the kids or grandkids if it is not on his schedule and Holiday dinners just are not worth having because he does not want to eat when everyone else does since it is still his beer time. And in HIS house, things are done according to his schedule and what anyone else wants or plans on will not happen because he is the boss.

I think he is a very lonely man and he really doesn't know why. He thinks he is normal and the rest of us are not because that is the way he was raised; he simply cannot change. He has alienated his children and grandchildren and yes, even me. It is not a happy household, but we will stick it out because we made the commitment 39 years ago. One or both of us will eventually die and the next generation will carry on - I just hope they will not let their negative genes take over and they stay happy.

Learn more about this author, Margaret Radisich Sleasman.
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