by Barbara Kasey Smith

Created on: November 04, 2009   Last Updated: November 05, 2009

Divorcing Family Members

*Many times, we have to divorce our families.

Divorce doesn't only exist by husbands and wives but it also exists in families. Throughout my life, I've seen many, many people who have had to totally divorce themselves from their families. No, this wasn't a choice they wanted but it was a choice they had to make or they would have ended up in a mental institution. When a person lives in a family of total dysfunction and feuding, the only way to escape it in a lot of cases is by walking away and never contacting them again.

Readers, you may find this as unbelievable but it happens everyday. There are families who live like the Hatfields and McCoys, and they are constantly bickering about one thing or another. They can stand up before their parents and fist fight like they're in a boxing ring. There can be "no" happy family gatherings because they will all get into fusses that happened years ago and it wasn't an important issue at all. They carry gossip from one aunt/uncle to every cousin they have, and of course, with their siblings and their families. Each family member decides which person they're going to side in with and they get mad at the other person because their aunt/uncle or cousin, brother/sister and their family were insulted. Can you believe this? They'll feud and fight for months and maybe years over something someone said that didn't sound just right.

*Some people thrive on turmoil.

Yes, many families are so dysfunctional that they have a big fight between siblings and their mother's and dad's on a daily basis and there is never any peace in the home. Some people cannot live in all this turmoil and frustration and all they want to do is find peace and contentment somewhere far away from their family. They cannot socialize with them even by telephone because past fusses and spats constantly take front stage in the conversation and one or the other ends up hanging up.

*Summation

In my opinion, the best thing a person can do when they are plagued with bickering, fussing, gossiping, etc. family members is to get yourself out of the situation. No-one should have to be exposed to this type of turmoil on a daily basis, and yes, it can cause you depression, guilt, and feeling helpless. Yes, it's sad to have to have "no" dealing with your family and kin but it's the only way out for you. Don't feel sorry that you cannot keep in contact with them because you already know it's absolutely impossible because you've probably went back a million times and the same problems are still existing.

Families like this cannot exist without a turmoil in their lives; it makes one wonder how they were raised. How can a family have so much hate and dislike for each other? What kind of a spirit lives inside of them? It's sad they cannot see what they are doing to their families and relatives and put a stop to it immediately. In most cases, if one or two relatives try to make peace, it only stirs up a bigger hornets nest of this one did this or this one did that. Life is too short to live in turmoil; walk away and live in peace.

Learn more about this author, Barbara Kasey Smith.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.