by Ashley Cormier

Created on: November 04, 2009

"Do we not mean enough?" is a common question that runs through a spouse's, son, daughter, mother, father...etc. It echoes, and haunts until we believe that truly honestly we are not good enough, and that it is our fault. Had we loved them more, had we shown them move, had we done something different... everything would be different to them, right? Wrong, but try to convince us that! We think we can save them, and we fight so hard to, and in the end it ruins us. Sometimes it ruins us emotionally ( are you at your end's wit all the time? ), sometimes it ruins us financially ( do you find you make an excessive amount of money yet, have nothing to show for? ), most of the time it ruins us in every single way possible.

They struggle trying to stay afloat the water, but the addict continues to pull them deeper and deeper, into waters rougher and rougher. They steal, and have no remorse what so ever if they let you go hungry. They figure you'll be alright, it's alright if they leave you with nothing. Families, in the end, have to decide what is best for their family rather than the addict. Should they stay, and allow this addict to ruin them more? Is there anything left to ruin? Or, should they go, and let the addict ruin only his or her own life?

In the end, if it was a father/mother figure that was an addict, the children are prone to choose the same kind of relationships. Call it a curse I guess, but it's from the normality of it all. Or, perhaps they'll become an addict as well when they get old enough because that's normal to them. It's not the addict that does without in the family, of course not. It's the others who surround the addicts who do without. Kids need clothes, mom needs mom time (or maybe just to be able to have a bit of help around the house...) , dad needs a break from cooking dinners (or maybe new breaks for the car), the cat needs littter it hasn't been cleaned for over a month now... it doesn't matter who's doing without what, love, affection, needs, someone's always doing without around an addict and it's clearly not the addict.

We feel we need to help them because they are sick without. We feel we need to prevent them from getting sick by helping them get what makes them feel better.

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