by Kim Russell

Created on: November 04, 2009

Of course soul mates exist. The problem is our individual definition of the term "soul mate." A soul mate is not a person that can finish your sentences, or knows exactly what you want to order for dinner at a restaurant and can do so for you while you are in the restroom. A soul mate is not someone who agrees with all that you say, who loves the same flavor of ice cream, who happened to be at the same concert as you twenty years before you met. A couple of people who are exactly alike on all levels - well, that's just redundancy defines and creates a relationship where one person can easily become expendable.

To the contrary, a soul mate is the exact opposite. A soul mate is someone who constantly challenges your belief system and consequently encourages you soul-search, re-evaluate, and either stand more firmly on your position or, maybe, change your mind a little. A soul mate will frustrate, aggravate and irritate you to no end. But, at the end of the day, you are a better person for it. You have been pushed to be the best you can be and challenged at the very core of who you believe yourself to be and the beliefs that you stand for.

A soul mate is not necessarily a significant other with whom you are involved romantically. You may find your soul mate in your children, your parents, your neighbor, your co-worker, or, if you are really lucky, in your significant other. But do not expect butterflies and rainbows from your soul mate. You can get butterflies and rainbows from the check-out person at the local convenient mart. On a day-to-day basis, day-in and day-out, we need to be challenged by someone whom we trust with out feelings, doubts, worries and concerns for ourselves, our families, our community, and the world in general.

Looked at this way, then, we may have many separate soul mates for the many different facets of our lives. A significant other, for example, may in fact be our soul mate on the intimacy level as they push our boundaries and walls, challenging us to be more open and available and more "in" the relationship. A family member who has known us since childhood may be our soul mate on a social level, pushing us to expand ourselves, become more involved with activities, move outside our comfort circle of friends and become more community-oriented. The examples could go on and on, but you get the idea. A soul mate does not exist; soul mateS, however, are abundantly available for all of us.

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