by Ashley Cormier

Created on: November 04, 2009

When I had first met my daughter's father, he was everything I had ever imagined my true love would ever be, kind natured, caring, compassionate and helping. I was soon to realize that this was his mask he wore to cover up the fact the he in fact was an addict. There is no changing an addict, there is no helping an addict, there is no possible way to have a reasonable, sensible conversation with an active abuser.

Soon enough, the man I had fell in love with was surrendered to his addiction as a sacrifice; what had replaced him was a hateful, selfish person. Addicts care little if they leave your baby with no diapers, they care even less if they leave you with no food. Coping with an addict? The best way to cope, is to leave them behind. Move on with your life and accept the fact that when they decide they are ready to receive the help they require, they will reach out to someone who is trained, and a professional in doing so. Leaving an addict behind is very hard, as you feel necessary to save them.

Think long and hard about the addict in your life, take a step back and think "what would someone else do?", and you'll have your answer. Addicts care nothing about anything rather than their fix, and it's not because they are bad people, it's simply because it's the way the mind works when modified by the drug/alcohol of their choice. Deep down inside, an addict is exactly like everyone else. Somewhere in there, there is a heart, and some blood, and feelings but they've learned that burying it by their substance they can in fact mask the fact that they are human. They are able to show no emotion by doing more.

Cope with the fact that you can't offer anything that would help them. All they truly, honestly believe is that they need their fix, by giving them their fix the only thing you are helping is helping that person kill themselves slowly and surely. Cope with the fact that your addict will only change when your addict wants to change, not when you want them to change.

So, before you lose everything in life trying to cope, or fix an addict realize that the only help you can offer them is letting them hit rock bottom on their own.

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