The best philosophical advice I have ever been given is to 'think before I react.' When we don't stop to think before we speak or take action we engage the part of our brain that deals with emergencies, and which requires an instant response. This is great if we are in a dangerous situation and we need to think fast for our own survival, but not at all great when we need to respond in an emotionally intelligent way that can help us to avoid stress.

When we do manage to stop and think before we react we are more likely to be able to tap into our higher selves, that is the part of our nature that helps us to behave in a mature and moral manner. Without doing this we may inadvertently say or do things that we will later regret. Words and actions hastily produced tend not to lead us to the best possible outcome in any given scenario.

If we are faced with a potentially stressful situation we can stop ourselves from over-reacting, or from making a regrettable mistake, by taking a few deep breaths and looking at the choices we have before us. It may be that how we would have instantly reacted before thinking would have left us stressed and unhappy, whereas, by giving ourselves a few moments to adjust to the situation at hand, we could deal far more effectively with what lays before us.

Many peoples relationships suffer because they react all of the time, instead of allowing themselves time to assess whats really happening, and choose to direct their conversation towards a desired outcome. Words spoken, or shouted, in haste can be extremely hurtful to those on the receiving end, and may not really be what the speaker would have desired to have said had they given more thought to the matter.

The wisest decisions we make in everyday situations generally come when we are not directly involved in a stressful moment. When we are highly stressed and feel forced to react, we are unable to link our words and behaviour properly with our accumulated wisdom and intuition.

Stress tends to block us from reaching into our inbuilt store of useful information about what would be best to do, and lets us roam through our fears and insecurities. This is when we make mistakes, say unkind words and put ourselves in difficult positions in life. We can't always make stressful situations disappear, but we can teach ourselves to reach an inner state of calm, even when our world appears stormy.

When faced with a stressful situation we can take some deep breaths and connect with our inner wisdom. Even during an argument it is possible to do this, although it does take some practice at first. If we don't feel able to find an appropriate answer or response to a problem, we can at least give ourselves a break, and choose to put the situation on ice until we feel able to deal with it. Just by telling someone we are having a heated debate with that we need time out in-order to think, can diffuse hostility and bring about a better atmosphere.

Thinking before you react will give you more freedom because it provides you with choices by letting you see all of the avenues you have available to you to travel along, instead of the obvious one that sits right in-front of you produced by raw emotion.

Learn more about this author, Bridget Webber.
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