by Melissa Torres

Created on: November 04, 2009

We all wonder why love hurts so much, but then again, deep down we know why but fail to look at the clear picture. It 's not because he/she does not come home every night anymore like he/she used to and walk in as we are cooking dinner, wrap their arms around us and kiss our forehead. Even though that would be ideal, what I think upsets us the most is that at the beginning of every relationship we are in heaven and nothing ultimately can break that honeymoon moment.

We get the attention, the love, the complete undivided focus of our being. But as time passes and your relationship becomes comfortable, we tend to let those actions fade as we just assume that they know how we feel. The sexiness begins to slowly dim and that loose fitting stage begins to show its ugly face. Now, not everyday is a honeymoon by any means, but what I have found in relationships is that the one thing that you cannot loose is your communication. Now, we all know seem to acknowledge this fact but we never follow through because we tend to think to ourselves "I do not want to bring it up because it will just lead to him /her sleeping on the couch and us not talking for a day or two or the other may walk out and think I am just bickering about random, unimportant nonsense.

That is because we go about it the wrong way. You are in a relationship with this person, they are your other half, I mean you couldn't hit a home run with one hand on the body of the bat. You must indulge in the conversation and take criticism as a way of helping, not hurting. I mean you can wake up in the morning with this person and look like you just walked out of hell, but you cannot take a suggestion of making yourself better to move forward in your relationship? We all need to step down from our high horse sometimes and understand that we are not perfect and there are things that we need to change and if it is for the better of our relationships. We need to learn how to slow the adrenaline of insult that just hit our emotional wall and embrace it, change it if necessary and move forward. Nine times out of ten, if you really sit and think about the consequences of what your verbal outcome, it usually works out better than just blurting out what you shouldn't say.

Now I am not saying completely change yourself for someone, but if you have been in more than five semi-serious relationships, you know what your faults are and if your significant other places them on a your plate for dinner one night, do not get angry, walk out or refuse the facts. What you need to do is simply analyze the situation, maybe go for a walk around the block and come back to talk about it or even sleep on it for the night. But if you truly love someone, you need to leave your heart open for change because it is indefinite.

Love is such an emotional rollercoaster that deals with more than one emotion on a daily basis. If you are ready to get on, buckle down and enjoy the ups and downs, you are willing to change for the best of the foundation. Otherwise, you should get off, and stand in line for another short ride.

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