by Robert Bertram

Created on: November 04, 2009

Its quite easy to tell if you were born for greatness, If you find you are always right no matter what the question or situation then indeed you were born, nay, created for the benefit of the rest of the world. I myself have to shoulder this burden. I drove my children crazy by being always right, my younger daughter once tried to tell me I was wrong (poor girl actually believed this for a short time.)

I informed all my children that if I ever gave them an answer that was inconsistent with reality, it was because I may have been given faulty information and my answer was correct for the facts I had at the time. This was very hard for them to try to live up to and I could see the pain on their faces as they tried not to let their friends hang around me too long. I am sure that they did not want them to be over awed or feel inadequate to be in my presence. Yes the wife and I raised wonderful children.

I give all my friends the same advice, If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are not sure what to do just ask yourself what would (insert your name here) do? If they can guess right then they will always be happy with the result. Also you must come to terms with there only being two kinds of people in the world. Me and people who want to be me. This can be modified to people who think like me and people who are wrong.

And then there is the question of attractiveness, I often tell people I am a little jealous of them because they get to enjoy all of this from the outside and I have to find a mirror to truly enjoy the whole package. This can often be stated as there are three kinds of women (or men if you are co-opting this for your own use.) Those who want me, those who don't know me and those who are related to me so I hope they don't fit into the first two categories.

If all of this applies to you and your thinking then greatness is not for you, because you are either a deranged and insufferable bore or you really are gods gift to everything and jealousy will cause everyone to snub you. As for me I'm quite sure its the latter. But I don't let it get me down as greatness is not often appreciated during the subjects lifetime. This means I (or you) can go to my grave knowing that statues and ma-by even temples will be erected, no not built, ERECTED to me later.

Yes I know, and I love me too. Thanks for the praise, but save your energy I don't want you to faint.

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