Letting go of adult children is one of the greatest challenges a parent faces in life.

Having dedicated several decades to raising and nurturing your children, it is difficult to adjust to an empty nest once they are grown and independent.

For so many years you were the pivotal person in their lives; their primary teacher and mentor. Suddenly they have interests and relationships that don't include you.

Establishing new ground rules and boundaries in your parent/child relationship is a must, if you are to maintain a close bond of mutual respect with your adult children.

Trying to hang on to the old ways of interacting with your children after they have become adults and created a life independent from you, could potentially drive a wedge between you, with your adult children resenting your refusal to treat them as adults.

Letting go of your adult children:

* Accept your adult children's independent lives

Accept that you will not be in constant communication with your adult children. As they go about their busy lives, there will be less and less time for sharing confidences, lively chats and frequent visits. Adopt a routine of emailing, weekly phone calls and occasional invitations to visit.

Let family traditions be a vehicle for retaining strong familial bonds. Plan well in advance of holidays and special occasions. Extend invitations with no obligation attached. If your children are married, there is another family to consider when they are making holiday plans. You will be all the more appreciated if you do not impose guilt.

* Embrace your adult children's choices

Refrain from criticizing the choices your adult children make in careers. Even when your adult children do not choose paths that live up to your expectations, keep in mind that it is their lives to live. Also, keep in mind that your approval is still important to them, and your disapproval will wound their spirits and create estrangement. Treat your adult children with the same consideration and respect that you would dear friends.

When your adult children choose marriage partners, be supportive and welcoming. You have the best reason to feel great affection for these new member of the family, for they are taking up where you left off, nurturing and loving your children.

Instead of looking at your adult child's significant other as an interloper, think of him/her as a new addition to the family circle. Avoid putting your child in a position of having to choose between loyalty to you and loyalty

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