by Joyce M. George-Knight

Created on: November 03, 2009

What? My parents won't be alive forever? Even though we know that our parents will not live forever, it is our tendency to disregard this fact. It's only following the death of one of them that reality strikes. Then, every time we turn around, there is a question that we wished we had asked when that parent was alive.

My father passed away in 1978. Of traditional German descent, Dad was reserved and seldom disclosed personal information. Because he was raised on a farm, he had a wealth of information that he had not learned in textbooks. Rather, he'd left school during the eighth grade in order to help his family maintain the farm. He became very ill with cancer and rapidly declined, which didn't leave me with an opportunity to pick his brain. After his funeral, I wished I'd asked more information concerning what his life was like as a child and how his parents had disciplined him. What was his relationship with his siblings? Did he regret having quit school and never having graduated high school? There was an eight year age spread between my baby brother and me. It was while talking about times with our father that we made some shocking discoveries. My brother knew that Dad knew how to play the piano, which is something I never heard about. On the other hand, I knew how he participated in weekly crossword puzzle contests and created experiments in our basement. My brother was totally unaware of these facts. Our father had related to each of us differently. Oh, how we had questions.

Therefore, may I suggest that you take some time to focus on each parent individually. Really focus. Think about the facts about them and this history that you don't know. Some possible questions might include:

1. Would you tell me about your family's life when you were a child? What was life like back then? This should include a family tree of relatives. Where are they today?

2. What were your hobbies? How did you spend summer vacations? Who were your friends? Did you ever get into mischief? Where did you attend school?

3. Tell me about your siblings. Did you get along with one another? What is your fondest memory? If you could change something, what would it be?

4. What made you choose your career? Would you make that second choice if you could choose again? Why or why not?

5. How did you and Mother (or Father) meet? Was it love at first sight? Tell me about your first date. Describe your wedding day.

6. Describe my birth. What was I like as a baby?

7. Concerning our family's life, what would you change if you could do it over? What are your proudest moments?

8. While growing up, what jobs did you hold? What life lesson(s) did you learn at it?

9. What piece of advice would you give to me concerning the remaining days of my life?

10. When you die, how do you wish to be buried? What would you like for your funeral service? Or what would you absolutely not want for your funeral service?

11. What is the medical history of your family members?

These are samples of questions. Perhaps it has triggered some others that are specific to your family's situations. More than these questions, hopefully, your curiosity has be stirred with regard to all the information you could gather for your children and grandchildren. If you don't have a family tree, it could be a fascinating family project. There's no reason to procrastinate. Like the old saying goes, "There's no time like the present..."

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