by Denise Baer

Created on: November 03, 2009

Being single and child-free opens more opportunities and freedoms. You can travel when you want, take more risks, along with cooking and cleaning when the need arises and you get full control of the remote. There are no arguments about who watches what and when; the television and remote are all yours. As a woman, the best thing about being single and child-free is I never have to worry about putting the toilet seat down, or stepping in something I know is not water.

In all seriousness, being single and child-free is a conscious and subconscious choice. From lack of commitment, extremely particular to independent and refusing to have children, these are just a few reasons people remain single, but the underlying one is we like it. Let's face it, if we wanted to marry and have children, we would look into the underlying factor of why we are single and attempt to fix it. Most of us grew into the single lifestyle and for the most part embraced it. Like other choices, there are moments where we wish our life was different, however it is the overall experience that truly makes you nod and say, "I'm satisfied."

In my case, I had my sights set on other things, such as an education and a good job. Marriage was not even a consideration until later in life, and I most definitely did not want children. As a woman though, the single and childless status raised eyebrows along with whispers. I have heard, "What's wrong with her?" "She's probably a lesbian." "It's not normal to not want children." Usually those whispering or uttering these words are the same people complaining about their spouse and/or children. The thing about being single and childless is I am comfortable with it, and I can pick up and travel anywhere. There is nothing wrong with me; I just was smart enough to know children were not for me.

The fact is being single and living child-free is a good lifestyle, and there is nothing abnormal about it. Nowadays, more women are choosing to stay single and childless for the sole purpose of enjoying their independence. In the early 1950s, 42% of teens to mid-twenty-year olds were married, and in 2007 there is less that 16%. Since I am a woman, I can only speak for myself and some other single women when I say single and child-free came when opportunity rose along with disparaging married women. Weighing the options, good paying job and freedom vs. married and unhappy, tipped the scale towards the good paying job and freedom.

Years ago, there were few choices for women, so most of them followed the traditional expectation. Then the Women's Rights Movement and opportunity began to rise. More and more women entered into the workforce, which made divorce an issue. Women were then able to support themselves and their children without having to rely on their husbands and stay in an unhappy marriage. In a sense, the same applies today. Women can support themselves, and the traditional expectation in having children does not carry as much weight.

I chose to be single and child-free because freedom was too important to me. The desire to come and go as I please trumped other lifestyles. Not wanting children does not mean we do not like children. In my case, it simply means I love freedom more, and I was not willing to give it up.

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