by Carol Gioia

Created on: November 03, 2009   Last Updated: December 02, 2011

Many people have both successes and failures in their past history. It is a weakness of human nature that failures are keenly remembered.  Harboring negative feelings about situations you are helpless to change is futile because they are in the irreversible past.

If events from the past are bothering you and interfering with your present peace of mind, it might be time to deal with the past, find closure and move on.

Finding closure involves accepting what you cannot change, having the courage to make amends, if appropriate, and forgiving yourself and others for real or perceived offenses.

Six tips for dealing with the past:

Evaluate

It is easier to push painful memories to the back of your consciousness, creating silent suffering, rather than to bring them forth and deal with them in a positive way. As long as something from the past remains unresolved, you cannot be fully at peace with the present. It is never too late to offer an apology or reverse a wrong.

For example, if you stole money from an individual and that person has died, you can make retribution by donating the designated amount to charity. If you don't have money, you can donate your time.

Identify which actions in your past are interfering with your present peace of mind and evaluate what needs to happen in order for you to forgive yourself. If another person has wronged you, decide what it will take for you to forgive that individual.

Work through the pain

The best way to let go of the past is to briefly relive it. Instead of walking around with a hole in your heart, revisit what caused you pain in the past, give in to the grief and sorrow that has be inhibiting your ability to fully enjoy your present life.

Sometimes, if the event from the past is overwhelmingly egregious, you might consider seeking professional help in facing the demons that hold your mind hostage. This might be the workable solution in cases of any type of physical abuse or neglect.

Even minor infractions can be resolved effectively through a few sessions of therapy. If you find yourself repeatedly having flashbacks, or venting continuously about a person or event from the past, talking to a mental health professional is taking a positive step toward relieving yourself of the negative "baggage."

Communicate

Talk openly with people who were part of your past. If your issue is that you cannot move past the resentment of abusive parenting, discuss your issues with siblings or extended relatives

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