by Sara J. Petersen

Created on: November 03, 2009

At some point the honeymoon phase ends, and couples face the daily mundane tasks of life, while trying to keep the fire burning bright. This article is a list of things that have been shown to keep a couple together, and keep the flame of romance alive in their marriage.

The most important is to be selfless in the day to day things in life. Try to think about things that would make the other person happy, or show him/her that you care. It doesn't have to be huge, it just has to be thoughtful.

A great way to keep a marriage together is to learn each other's love languages and be open and honest about your likes and dislikes. In the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, he talks about the ways different people show affection, and how things can be so easily miss communicated. For instance: A loving husband may show love by "bringing home the bacon" and would like his wife to do acts of service for him, mean while his loving wife shows and expects love by spending quality time. Neither is wrong, but these two things can clash even though both people love each other. It's important to know what your language is, and to learn to speak the other person's language. Also, it is very important to be honest about your likes and dislikes without being confrontational. If you don't like something the other person does to show affection, it's OK to say "I don't really enjoy this, could we try this instead." Be willing to compromise, but be honest about how things make you feel.

One way to deal with arguments is to walk and talk. Communication always works better than dehumanization. When you have a problem, don't call names, yell, scream, ignore, and blame. Come together and talk. Many couples have found that taking a walk holding hands, or even just holding hands together on the couch helps take some of the sting out of an argument, and let's face it arguments will come. It's how a couple faces them that decides if they will stay happy together.

To ad a spark of interest to your marriage, get creative! The little fun things a couple do together don't need to cost a penny! You can go on dates together on a regular basis right in your own home. For instance, you could decorate the house to look like a place both of you want to travel to, or have a candle lit dinner. The possibilities are endless!

Finally, read good books together on the subject. This article is just the tip of the ice berg. There are many good books such as "The Five Love Languages" that were written to help a couple come up with ideas grow together.

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