by Tracey Lund

Created on: November 03, 2009

Stress: it seems to be such a natural part of life these days. Many parents can find that rushing kids to school, taking care of errands, working and taking care of the home, not to mention many other details, can take a toll on their mental health. When stress is not properly alleviated it can lead to irritability, depression and even illness. When children are put in the middle of the stress trap it can be emotionally devastating for them.

Little Kyle is crying in class. Mommy had such a busy morning that she forgot to give him money for the book fair that day. Not only that, but this morning she had been angry with him because he lost one of his new tennis shoes. She's been shouting more lately and he can't understand why. His self esteem goes down as he continues thinking that maybe he is just bad.

Life is normal then mom decides to get a job or dad lost his job and money is tight. There was a recent move or someone in the family has died. These are all temporary stressors that, when dealt with in a positive manner, do not have to escalate to depression or other issues. With some relaxation techniques and, if necessary, even therapy, complications may be averted. The problem is that many people do not look for help or even help themselves to recuperate. Feelings of grievance, remorse or anger are often repressed. That is when small problems escalate into big issues and temporary stressors become long term. The moods of others affect all in the household and is often contagious.

If Mommy and Daddy used to be calm and caring then take a turn to yelling and arguing constantly, or if one of the parents alone is usually upbeat, but swiftly changes, that is something children will definitely pick up on. And if the parents are not doing anything to help themselves, just persistently falling into more negative patterns, this is what the children will learn. It is critical for adults to try to deal with things in a positive manner as they are the most prevalent teachers. If you deal with stress by yelling and arguing, your children will learn to yell and argue. If you lack respect towards your children, they will not learn to respect themselves or anyone else. Their self esteem can be destroyed with little hope of recuperating it later. The things that are engraved in a young child's brain often last a lifetime.

Stress does not have to be traumatizing for children, however. The parent who lets their children know that they are feeling a little stressed out and finds a positive solution are the ones giving their children the opportunity to succeed and be emotionally fit for a lifetime. Next time you are feeling the pressure of the all-too-common stress bug, invite your children out for a walk or go exercise at the gym. Take a bubble bath, call a friend, read a book or even meditate. Whatever solution works best to relax you, you can be sure that you are not only helping yourself, but your children as well.

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