I've got this assignment about the problem of growing old. It is a big problem you see. Growing old. I mean in many ways you stop growing. I mean I've even grown smaller, if that's what you call growing. I know people who've grown older. I mean old. White, grey, and lumpy. I even know this guy who lost his bum. I mean; it looks weird.

You'd expect to loose hair and teeth, but loosing a bum to quiet extreme. The missus was getting me coffee for instance. She keeps telling I can't have it. Too late in the day, she keeps saying. I mean my watch says 10:22. The clouds are quiet dark and fast moving. As though lit by the moon. I used to love this time of the year, the fall just after time change.

Change is one of the biggest problems of the growing old. I mean we just pushed back the clocks. Fall back you know. I've seen so much change that 10:22 is still very dark. I remember when I used to I used to walk at ten in the morning. Lovely times.

My lovely wife has a real hard time with changes. She just thinks that it is night just because it is dark. I mean, that what happened to the dinosaurs. They couldn't take time change. She also takes a long time to do anything. I mean I've often started to make tea while she is still getting dressed to go out. She takes so long. Then when I sit down with my nice hot tea, she gets terribly impatient. Terribly impatient. We have this appointment with the doctor. It seems that is all we do.

I've these pills that make me forget what day it is. Then I've these pills to help me for all things. Pills for heart, kidney, liver, lungs, and even pills to help me pee. These cost so much and you have to keep taking them. You take pills just to remember which pill to take. You also take horse pills to help you forget those awfully embarrassing moments.

I hate the doctor's office. They always make me wait. That is why I go late. I know their game. Then that pretty secretary says "you've missed your appointment, so you'll have to go after Mrs. Ottoman". Indeed. I don't know how many times I've explained to her that I've better things to do than rush here on time only to be told to wait. The pretty secretaries do awful things to those who are getting old.

The worst thing about getting old is that time goes out of whack. Sometimes I think I get two days out of one day. I know I'm awake in the middle of the night and I just start working. There is no retirement for me. Sometimes, the time crawls so slowing that I think someone gave it Quaaludes.

When you get old, people also don't have time for you. I mean your own children don't even come and visit because they got important things to do. Then when they do come, they think they can stay the whole week. I know a lot of grumpy people. Old grumpy people.

I've also noticed that old people become hard of hearing. Some old people, at least. I can tell because they act just like those young people with the iPods. You can talk to them and swear at them and they just smile. Just like they have some silly music going into their damm fool skulls. Growing old is a terrible thing. You need more things all the time. Eye glasses, hearing aids, dentures, Viagra, cane, and warmer clothes. Old people don't have a clue either. My honey for instance won't make coffee just because it is dark. Superstitious.

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