by Bhavya Dabas

Created on: November 02, 2009

I have never really been able to understand why this whole idea of who should ask whom out first is such a big deal. Sure, the men have traditionally been the ones doing it, but why can't the women do it if they want to? What makes people uncomfortable with or opposed to the idea?

It's really not so much a question of whether the man or the woman asks the other person out. It's about who begins to like the other person first. Who is attracted and drawn to the other enough to make them want to go out. And who is more outgoing and more of a go-getter, someone who likes to make things happen for themselves instead of sitting around, waiting for things to happen on their own.

In this day and age where women are on equal footing with men in most career fields, are as well educated as the men and as well informed of their rights, what stops a woman from asking a man out? What prevents her from letting a guy know that she finds him attractive, even sexy? And if guys can accept working alongside or even as subordinates to women, what is the big deal if a woman asks them out? Why do they need to feel awkward or uncomfortable if she does that? Or resort to classifying her as a slut?

To men, a woman who makes the first move in a relationship can be intimidating or appear to be overly assertive. Because gender roles have traditionally been the other way around, and social conditioning leads people to think that that is the way things should be. But the world is fast changing, and more and more women are taking on stronger roles professionally. Society is gradually growing to accept them and even to admire them.

In the world that we live in today, men and women are increasingly adopting very similar roles, both inside and outside their houses. Both partners work equally long and stressful hours and draw similar paycheques. And both of them share household responsibilities. This kind of arrangement is increasingly acceptable in most families. Whoever is the better cook of the two, cooks. The other one takes care of other chores, such as washing and cleaning. And so it should be in relationships. Whoever is more outgoing should make the first move. The other one can suggest where they should go and what they should do together.

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