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Reflections: Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be difficult to give but so easy to accept.

Some offenses are unforgivable but most are not.

To forgive someone takes guts and the realization that the person you are forgiving could wrong you again.

I know several adults that have strained relationships with their parents and refuse to forgive them the wrongs committed in childhood.

They say that they can never forgive the parents for their upbringing or maybe a fight that caused the rift in the first place.

What does it take to forgive someone in this instance?

Family members have known you longer than anyone else in your life.

The decision to forgive someone who has known you since the beginning is a huge leap of faith.

Forgiving a family member takes strength and patience that some just don't have after years of broken promises and lies.

I have seen families come back together after terrible tragedy's like murder, death, loss of a child.

To forgive is to examine your own faults and weakness.

Forgiving one's child is a much different type of forgiveness that forgiving a spouse his or her infidelity.

It seems that the one forgiving must also understand the offense done in youth cannot compare to an offense several years later.

Sometimes forgiving someone can bring healing to that person and allow them to move on from the deep hole of guilt and regret.

Often times with family members it's the forgiveness that allows other relationships to develop.

Think about the feuding siblings upset because Grandma left you the Jewelry and your superficial sister who really wanted the Jewelry doesn't speak to you for five years.

In that five years you have missed out on getting to know your nieces and nephews.

The sisters move on and forgive and the Aunt becomes close to her nephew and saves his life after all night drinking binge.

Death can also bring forgiveness.

Especially when the reason for the disconnection was petty and small and life is so short and can end so soon.

We tend to forget the argument and remember the bond and all else seems to fall into place.

Maybe the key to forgiveness is to know the limits and boundaries of conversation and actions with those that you have in your life.

Taking the time to forgive does mean giving away something and that is resentment and keeping that would only take up thoughts that could be pleasant and uplifting instead of oppressing.







Learn more about this author, Michelle Grismer.
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