by Olivia Emisar

Created on: November 02, 2009

Marriages are interesting relationships we are geared to pursue since childhood, but very few wise people share their recipe for a happy marriage, and very few of us think of asking before we hit the hall and start thinking of divorce.

A solid foundation to build upon starts with mutual respect and trust that is never breached, but foundations need trimmings and attention and the following items need to be incorporated to keep the marriage alive and well.

*1. Lack of communication will kill the joy of sharing thoughts, opinions, feeling and will erode the bonds made early in the relationship. People who are happily married communicate at various levels on a regular basis, from meaningful looks at family gatherings, to lengthy discussion about politics or values. Even when they share they same views they keep checking in with each other to make sure that they are still on the same page.

*2. Fun seems to take a second seat when couples have to deal with all that life throws at them, from colicky babies to aging parents and stressful jobs with crazy schedules, but making time for just the two people involved to laugh, take a dance class together, and just enjoy each others' company is crucial to a healthy marriage.

*3. Finances are at the top of the list of why marriages fail and sound financial planning and responsibility will avert this hurdle that involves more than just a few ill timed purchases. Our entire lifestyle is tied to our finances, from schooling, utilities, mortgages to retirement and well earned vacations. The loss of a job will understandably set a couple back and they will manage the situation far better than if the person had gambled their life savings at a Casino.

*4. Illness will test the strength of the marriage, especially when it is prolonged illness or becomes a permanently disabled condition. Being open to accept the inevitable changes and adjust accordingly will make the rough days easier and keep strains to a minimum.

*5. Keeping priorities straight and not allowing dissention in the marriage to be caused by friends, family, co-workers, or neighbors. Accept what belongs to you and yours, but don't bring other people's drama and insecurities to permeate your marriage. It is not worth it after going to the altar to end up in divorce court because the marriage was strained beyond repair by the in-laws or some other outside entity.

*6. Sex is a crucial part of intimate expression of love and trust in a marriage. Barring any medical issues,

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