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First, and the hardest to do is, try not to scream obscenities about the things you would like to do to the alleged abuser, go to another room away from your child, out of earshot to do this. Reason being, it was one of the hardest things your child has ever had to do coming to you and telling you about the abuse. Your child may have been threatened in some way by the abuser, to keep him/her from telling, and the threats may have been directed at his family, thus your threats of revenge, may terrify your child more.

Seek, medical attention immediately at the E.R so the extent of the physical damage can be determined. Before going in, try to forewarn your child that a physical exam will take place, but they will not harm him/her as you will be in the room with them.
From that point, the proper authorities will be notified, and some of them may wish to talk to you and or your child. The professional people that talk with your child, are highly trained in this area of psychology and know how to get the child to open up and tell them details about what has happened to them. Often the child will be afraid to disclose, vivid details of the abuse, even with parents, as the abuser may be a relative, friend or even a step-parent, parent, or sibling, and the child will be afraid of destroying the bond between everyone and fears he/she may make everyone angry with them for discussing this.
Await, patiently with open heart, and arms, but let the child initiate, embraces, let them know you are their for them when they need to talk, and that you wish you could hold them in an embrace that would make all of this go away. Let them know they are not at fault, and that the person that done this is sick, that sickness is not only in the body but can occur in someone's brain as well.
And please, once the perpetrator is caught, and put away, or punished, do not make the mistake of thinking this is all behind you and your child, and that it can be put aside and forgotten. Your, bouncy rambunctious child, full of glee prior to the abuse has simply put, died emotionally. Replaced with a terrified, un-trusting, guilt ridden and sad perhaps angry and bitter, shell of what he/she was. Your child will need professional help in order to heal. They may experience, flashbacks brought about by what are called triggers, that can include one or more of the five senses, a memory embedded in your child that can traumatize and remind he/she of the abuse. They may become fearful of loved ones or friends they trusted prior to the abuse, they may withdraw. Some, may even change the way they dressed prior to the abuse. Little girls that loved to be dainty and feminine may suddenly find they are uncomfortable looking pretty and may opt instead for sloppy tee-shirts and baggy pants, etc. Please, do not force them wear dresses if they feel threatened by wearing them. It will intensify their fears.
If you have never experienced, this form of abuse yourself, you may want to seek out resources, books etc. that will help you understand what your child is going through. Your child's counselor, may have ideas on books and web sites that may prove beneficial to you, and your child. And please, don't tell your child to "get over it." Having went through this abuse myself, and finding one of my son's in a similar situation is how I know so much on this topic. "just getting over it." doesn't work. Trust me if it were that simple your child would, do just that. For no one I know wants to live in the constant, turmoil a sexually abused child does.

Learn more about this author, Linda Chance.
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