by Carmel Brulez

Created on: November 01, 2009

Every woman has to go through the menopause, it is one of the things she hates about being a woman. It usually happens after she reaches the age of forty and somewhere between fifty and fifty five. Each woman finds it affects her diffently although there are some symptoms that are more common than others. Women usually find that they undergo a change in their libido when they go through the menopause. Meaning that their sexual appetite and interests change. This usually leads to the interest decreasing, but sometimes it can mean it increases instead. Some claim this is because the woman may be having the typical hot flushes that tend to hit most menopausal sufferers, or they are simply older and more easily tired than they were before, or they have lost interest in their partner after being with him for years. But it is quite common that a woman who goes through the menopause loses interest in sex. She just does not fancy it, does not feel anything physical about it, does not enjoy the things she used to enjoy.

Assuming that she loves her partner and they were fine before this becomes a problem. She may well find that she does not miss it because she no longer fancies it and sex becomes a distant memory to her. She may well find that she just forgets about it and it does not matter to her. But it would mean that it changes the relationship she has with her partner, if she has one. The partner will miss sex even if she does not. The partner still needs love, comfort and passion and her telling him that she does not fancy it is the same, to him, as being told that she does not fancy HIM. So he becomes physically frustrated, sexually frustrated, neglected and feels unloved.

The best way to deal with this is to continue to have a sex life with your partner even if you do not fancy it the way you used to. Maybe you are not so eager and do not do it as often or for so long. But your partner has a right to feel love and not get frustrated. There are aids that can help with this, natural herbal remedies that can be taken to help to increase your sex life, also vitamin and mineral supplements. Things like yoga can help too. But to simply accept that you no longer want sex is not fair to your partner.

If you are sure that you are not using the menopause as an excuse and you really do want things to work out with your partner and for your partner to genuinely be happy, then this is a situation that needs to be dealt with and not just ignored. By talking to your partner openly and honestly about how you feel and explaining that it is not personal to him you have become closer to him emotionally. Take it a step at a time and work towards a compromise solution.

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