by Elizabeth G

Created on: February 14, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

I often hear the phrase "relationship skills" to describe how someone conducts themselves in a relationship. Relationship skills include skills such as communication, compromise, patience, listening. When both people in the relationship have these skills, the relationship is typically functional. Although never perfect.

Being single is also a skill. Or rather, being a well-functioning single person requires just as many skills as being in a relationship, if not more. Being single is something that I excel at. Of my 28 years of life, 25 of them have been spent being single, so I believe I am well qualified to write somewhat authoritatively on this topic. Furthermore, I don't expect to become un-single anytime soon, so I might as well continue to hone my skills as much as possible.

To follow are what I consider to be the Top 3 Single Skills.

3. Having Interests, Hobbies and/or Activities: Keeping Busy
When you are single, there isn't always someone "there" to hang out with, watch TV with, or just chat with to occupy the time. Friends may or may not be around, so it's important to do things that don't require involvement with other people. Not to say they can't involve others, but it's always nice to know that you have an activity you can do on your own. In my case, these activities are running, playing the piano, and writing. I do not need a partner for any of these things, and in fact, being in a relationship would restrict the time I have to enjoy these activities as much as I currently do.

2. Independence
Single people must learn to take care of themselves and not rely on others to do so for them. Taking care of oneself involves many both physical and emotional aspects. If you're single (and you live alone, or aren't close with your roommates) there won't be someone to take care of you if you get sick. Emotionally, if you are sad or upset, there isn't necessarily going to be someone to "check-in" with you to ask how you're doing. As a single person, it's my responsibility to nuture my needs. Once again, it's nice to have friends around, but when you're single- chances are that there isn't someone to "look after" you.

My company recently developed a handbook with policies and procedures. One of the items in the book stated that if an employee didn't come to work for three days without an explanation, to assume that person had quit. I told my boss to never assume that of me. If something horrible happened to me, the first people to notice my absence would be my co-workers

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