Blackness surrounds me
and fills my being.
Blackness fills me
and scorches my soul.
I am intoxicated
and I can't get enough.
I am in control
and I know I am.
Days are a blur to me,
Is it tomorrow already?
This is my haven,
It will protect me.
And yet, and yet
Tomorrow seems so far away
I am reaching for something long gone.
Or is it just me?
They are all talking now,
Telling me to be cheery.
I tell them I am fine,
I can tell they don't believe me.
They all surround me,
Telling me it's okay.
Okay to cry, okay to sob.
I want my blackness back.
I realize soon,
that I am not myself.
I have changed,
as they all say.
I have lost my control
and done what the weak do.
I sink onto the floor,
Darkness has finally penetrated me.