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Humor: Confessions

by Carmel Brulez

Created on: October 31, 2009

At last! I have found the perfect place where I can make my confession, thank goodness. For months, maybe a year now, I have been longing and needing to confess. It is something which has embraced my very being. It has filled my every waking moment and I have dreamt of nothing else but confessing even when asleep. No matter what I was doing, no matter how serious it was, my thoughts would still quickly stray back to confessing. But who do I confess to? Do I go to the church and confess with a priest? No. Bad idea. Do I tell my loved ones and then have then taunting me or questionning me or judging me for the rest of my life? Where they see me differently to the way they do now? No. Bad idea. There is only one option left and that is to totally anonymously confess to someone I do not know at all and who has no idea of where I live, what I look like or any other information that could help them to track me down or know me.

The Helium site is the perfect place for this, filled with thousands of unsuspecting people who will read this confession. They will probably live at least a few hundred miles from me and they have no connection to me. Perfect indeed.

I did think of telling my doctor about this and confessing to him, but then I realised he would just say I am being daft.....again.. and not take me seriously. That is what happened last time and the time before that... oh yes, and the time before that too. The first confession was so difficult, the second was easier as it gets better with practice, by the third time it was easy peasy, and now this is the fourth time and it is so easy it is difficult to stop myself confession to the wrong person without any discretion.

You will now read my confession. My doctor once told me that I have a problem where I have a constant need to confess, despite the fact that I have not done anything. What rubbish! The stupid fool. Of course I have done something wrong. I have gone around telling people that I need to confess, I told my boss, my sister, my neighbours, my childrens' school friends and my husband. My confession is that I have a constant need to confess. Today's confession is this. I must confess that I feel the need to confess and I will confesss here in this article. Here it is in plain English and in black and white for all to see. I can even make another confession at the same time. I will need to confess tomorrow because I feel guilty about the confession I made today. Now you have the truth.

Please tune in to the next instalment where I will confess about my confession.

Learn more about this author, Carmel Brulez.
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