by Joyce M. George-Knight

Created on: October 31, 2009

Children mirror their parents, since they have no conception of who they are as individuals yet. Their family's behaviors are all they know when they are young. That's why they mimic your actions, repeat your words (even those said in frustration and anger) and copy you in every other way. Through mirroring you, they are developing their own person. Therefore, if you are questioning how to teach your children to respect you, the first place to begin is to take an honest look at yourself. Do you treat others with respect? More so, do show respect for your children?

Next, do you respect yourself? Does that question surprise you? The manner in which you speak with others and your attention to your dress and looks all reflect the amount of esteem you hold toward yourself. When others speak to you in a belittling manner, do you correct them? How you allow others to treat you may be copied by your children. These are all ways in which you indicate how much you value yourself.

As for parenting your children, they need to know that you have their best interest at heart. Therefore, when you set rules for them to follow, there is no sneaking around them. Just as you wouldn't drive through a red light just because there were no cars around, because you know it's the law, so too with your children. When the family rule is, for example, children must make their beds and clean their rooms before they can play, stick to the rule. When you allow your children to weasel around the rules, they learn not to take the rules nor you seriously. Just think for a moment about the teachers you had in school. Are the ones who were strict, yet fair with the kids, the teachers who you remember the best? They made you work to the best of your ability to get the results they knew you could achieve. As a result of their determination, you succeeded and hold them in high esteem. Now, relating this to your children, they will feel the same way toward you eventually. First, they will need to recognize that their success was the outcome of your sticking to your rules.

Hugs and telling your children, "I love you" are just as important as any rule or example you can set. Taking time to listen to them tell their drawn out stories and repeating back some of what you hear them say are important. This indicates your interest in what they care about. It also tells your children that you are not only listening, but you are also hearing what they consider to be significant. As Aretha Franklin's lyrics sing out "R-E-S-P-E-C-T," may your children learn to sing and demonstrate the same toward you, themselves and others.

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