by Toye Gillman

Created on: October 31, 2009

What a coincidence! Earlier this evening, my sons, who are both in their 20's, were urging me to go to the theater with them to see "Boonedock Saints II: All Saints Day." The first "Boonedock Saints" movie is one of my all-time favorites. I and my sons exchanged text messages for a good half hour, with them pointing out all the reasons I should go with them to the theater instead of waiting for the movie to come out on DVD. After I insist that I don't want to go, my sons begin hailing the attributes of the theater-the big screen, the surround sound, running into friends there, and other things young people find appealing about seeing a movie in a theater. I will now relate some of my answers to them as to why I would rather wait for the DVD.

After fighting traffic (which is really just waiting in line in your car) all the way home on a Friday evening, the last thing I want to do is rush around getting ready to go to the theater, so I can wait in line to buy tickets-few of which movies are worth the money-so I can wait in line to buy overpriced snacks and drinks, so I can wait in line to get inside the theater, so I can find the perfect seat, so I can see the ever-important rules of the theater and 30 minutes of concession commercials, along with previews of the next six month's movies that are coming out. And just when the movie finally begins, the tallest man in the theater plops down in the seat directly in front of me, and the loudest, most obnoxious high school boys take their seats in the row directly behind me, continually snickering and making fun of people in the theater, while simultaneously throwing movie popcorn and snorting soda out their noses, obviously believing others in the theater are as amused by them as they are by themselves. Also, the obese are somehow drawn to me (I have nothing against obese people-I'm not so petite myself-I just wish they could sit somewhere else). After somehow squeezing by me and wriggling their way into their seats, they always decide they need another soda or candy bar, and they all seem to have weak bladders, so they have to practically squash me to get past my theater seat, which by the way, is not comfortable at all.

After all this Friday night fun, I find myself infuriated and ready to sock someone soundly in the eye! Mercifully, the movie ends, and just as I figured, it wasn't worth the money. I wait in line to get out of the theater, and then wait in line to get out of the parking lot. By this time, all

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>