by Natalie M. Wolverson

Created on: October 30, 2009   Last Updated: October 31, 2009

The problem of confessing your sexuality to your parents is a very common issue, and although mainly present with teenagers or younger people, it is not limited to any specific age or gender. People suffer from this mainly because they are scared that their parents won't approve of their decision, however, you must understand that it will come as a shock to most parents, and that they need time for it to really settle in - in most cases this doesn't mean that they think differently of you.

Before you decide to tell your parents that you are gay, you should really think long and hard to ensure that you are comfortable with your decision. In order for your parents to respect you and the decision you have made, you must respect it too. If you have any doubt or feeling of guilt, then it may be best to wait a little until you are completely sure that you are going to stick with your decision. Make sure that you are the person who has made the decision and not a friend or relative - this must be completely down to you, and you must try and understand why you feel the way you do. Your parents may find it hard to understand you decision, and in some cases they may never understand, so you must give them time and be patient - don't just expect them to understand overnight!

Ensure that you plan out when and where you are going to tell your parents, as well as what to say and what you think they are going to say, however don't plan it out like a script. Try to anticipate what you expect them to ask and be prepared to answer as best as you can - you may want to take leaflets or other forms of information about homosexuality to help your parents get to terms with your decision and understand why so many people are gay. Make sure that the environment around you is relative calm and there isn't a bad atmosphere before you choose to confront your parents. Having a calmer mood and atmosphere will make it much easier on you and will help you to feel more relaxed.

The best thing to do is to prepare yourself for their reaction. This may be shock, happiness, disbelief or even anger, however if you are prepared for it, then you can deal with it a lot better. Prepare for the worst and tell yourself that they are not going to approve, this way if they do you have a nice surprise, and if not you can talk to them without getting too upset. You must also take into account their view on the subject, for example do they believe that homosexuality is wrong or a sin? If they do have such beliefs then you must take this into account and try to find a way around it to make it easier for them to see why you made your choice.

Try to have a friend or a family member there or nearby when you decide to tell your parents, this way if they react worse than you expected you have someone who approves and will comfort you. If you don't feel comfortable having your friend in the room at the time, they could wait outside or in a different room until you are ready. Having someone there to support you will make it a lot easier on you, as you know that you are not alone and that you do have people to turn to.

Don't be ashamed of your sexuality - undoubtedly you will come across many people who will disagree with your choice; however, you are who you are, and in my opinion, anyone that is worth being around will understand and respect or love you for who you are.

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