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undead scratching at your windows? No. You need a planned meeting place. It will have to be a safe place that can be secured from the inside. On with a predicable amount of zombies - meaning it can't be a supermarket, because we all know zombies flock to the places they went most in life - It should also have enough food and water to last you a good long while. Internal roof access would be nice with gardneing supplies and clear tarps for a greenhouse to create your own self-sustaining garden.

To identify your meeting place, start driving around your neighborhood. Remember, it can't be too far off because the roads will be jammed. (SIDE-NOTE: Get a four-wheeler or other ATV. Cars will be useless as they will congest the roadways and a Dodge neon can't drive through a tree). If you are fortunate enough to live in an older city, you might begin to notice "fall-out shelter" signs around town (at your local YMCA, perhaps), but don't be fooled. These are defunct in most instances, will not be equipped with the food you need, and sure, it's all well and good to hide out in a cement, underground bunker, but how safe will you be once they get inside with you? Hmmm? No. Look harder. Few windows, few doors, cement or brick walls, barred windows, and remember: lots, and lots of food. For this reason, my partner and I have devised a plan to meet our loved ones at a remote warehouse that ships various materials to a particular brand of nationwide grocery stores. This warehouse, being such, is equipped with palette-jacks that can be used to lift tons of crates filled with (literally) tons of steel/tin/canned goods to block all the doorways and windows. For OSHA requirements, there are internal showers and generators, which means electricity and well water. Not to mention the thousands of tons of bottled water and non-perishable food items around. THe gardening supplies can be found in the warehouse as most grocers now sell simple soil and seeds, and there is internal roof access with no external ladders. There will be a limited number of zombies on the premises at any given time as they employ only 100 or so workers on varied shifts. We can take out a hundred or slow zombies (of the slow moving variety, at least) with a couple of machetes. So, there you have it.

Now, having mentioned all of my masterful plans, let me put one final plug in for the most brilliant zombie-safe community I have yet to encounter. I recently took a trip to Belize (a small country on the Yucatan

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