by Annie Duncan

Created on: October 30, 2009   Last Updated: October 31, 2009

The second we answer yes to this question is the second that we are shifting the responsibility of the rape from the perpetrator to the victim. I have been a victim of rape, and I know from statistics that I am far from alone.

As a runner the winter months become a bit more challenging for me; if I go too early in the morning or late in the evening it is already dark. Yet I have other responsibilities and cannot go later in the day. I really enjoy running though; it keeps me fit, and I feel really good after a long run in the morning, it starts my day.

I live in a small town, and there are many parks close by and the ocean. Early mornings are the best, the air is a bit crisp and sometimes there is a bit of a fog out. When I run by the ocean, I can see the boats bopping up and down by the docks. I hear the seagulls, and as I look out over the ocean, it brings a sense of peace to my world. Then I may pop in my earplugs and hit play on my iPod. Depending on my mood I pick a track and finish off my run. Some days I take my little dog, Millie with me, and we have to stop a few more times as she explores and sniffs the world around her.

No matter which route I take, I will run by hedges and bushes and places that if someone wanted to grab me, chances are no one would notice. Do I trade in my early morning runs for fear of being raped? I went to a runner's store recently to find attire to help in the dawn of the day to be more visible. The man at the counter asked "you go running alone?. Yes I replied. He then said do you where one of those iPod things? Yes I replied again. He raised his eyebrows like I was looking for trouble. I am not - I don't want to be raped again, and I would fight for my life if it did happen again, but at what point do I stop living and give in? I know if something did happen most everyone around me would say what were you thinking running alone like that?

Life is for the living, and when we give into fear we stop living just a little bit. If we watch every move we make everyday for the fear of making ourselves easier prey, then the perpetrators now own our lives. I take what precautions I can; I take my phone with me, and when I am running by bushes or hedges, I make sure I am as far away from them as possible without changing my route. I let the people in my household know when I am leaving and how long my run is, but I will not take the responsibility of a rape if I am attacked; the perpetrator is 100% responsible for the violent act, and I am 0% because he did not have my consent!

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