Like most people, you probably have spent your entire life imagining just what constitutes a dream honeymoon. It should be romantic, magical, and full of spontaneous lovemaking. You spend weeks, maybe even months, planning this once in a lifetime trip. If you are getting ready to head off to paradise with your new spouse, you might find this guide of things NOT to do during your big adventure helpful.
Honeymoon No-No #1: Having Expectations!
Inevitably, something is going to not go as planned. For me, it began with the loss of our luggage. Airlines are great that way, aren't they? Don't let something like this ruin the trip. You only get your honeymoon once. Buy something to wear until the luggage shows up. Mine finally arrived three days late. Besides, most hotels have a laundry service and you can launder what clothing you do have with you. So don't sweat lost luggage.
A perfect example of expectations falling short of the mark is the ever-popular horseback riding on the beach. In theory, this sounded sexy to me. In reality, not so much. I went swimming prior to the ride. After an hour-long trip, the wet swimsuit had decided to get too cozy with my backside. The chafing that resulted was excruciating! Boy, was that attractive! Tip: Don't do the horse thing. It sounds romantic, but in the end, your butt is chafed and you spent an hour watching a horse poop. The moral of this story is that whatever goes wrong on your honeymoon, shrug it off. It will probably make for a humorous story later on down the road.
Honeymoon No-No #2: Sticking to a Schedule!
There are probably a lot of places to visit and things to do at your honeymoon destination. Visit them. Do the things you both want to do. But by all means, do these on impulse. Following a schedule cuts out on your true focus: each other. Make love whenever you want, not when you finally get back to the room after a long day of sightseeing. Trust me on this one. I don't need to share a personal anecdote here. You get the picture.
Honeymoon No-No #3: Packing Everything You Own.
Lugging around suitcases isn't much fun. You don't need shoes that match every outfit or an endless array of lingerie. Sure, pack the eye candy. You just don't need an entire suitcase full. Honestly, you wont wear it long enough anyway. Do take the essentials, like sunscreen if you're heading off to the beach. Try it out ahead of time. I honeymooned in Costa Rica, so I slathered on the sunscreen like life depended on it. As a result, I spent the first half of my honeymoon with a terrible rash. How eye-catching! These are the details you don't think about. (Picture this: rash head to toe and a chafed butt. Wow.)
Honeymoon No-No #4: Ogling the Scenery.
Check out the beautiful beach, the mountain, the hotel; whatever the sights should be at your location. But whatever you do, for heaven's sake, don't be caught looking at the man with those incredible rippling pecs or the scantily clad woman sunbathing by the pool. Don't open that can of worms! Make your partner feel like they are the sexiest person you have ever seen. I really give my husband props here because I was sure a sight by this time! I'm lucky. He still made me feel desirable.
If you are one of those people who can't see the forest because of all the trees, then take a step back before your honeymoon and relax. Things won't go exactly as planned and that's ok. I still had the time of my life and tons of things went wrong! Have a good attitude! Life has enough ups and downs. Make your honeymoon an up. Hold on to your wife or husband and slow down long enough to just breathe. You are starting your life together. That knowledge alone should give you the boost you need to get through any obstacle, even on your honeymoon.