by Alistair Marquise

Created on: October 29, 2009   Last Updated: March 24, 2011

The Ex. You shared a lot of good times in the past didn't you? You were there for each other and you made each other feel amazing. The two of you basked in that wonderful, lovely glow. You told each other using only your eyes that "this will last forever".

Except it didn't.

What happened to that perfect love? What happened to that person with whom you felt such a strong connection? And what do you do now that it seems like a second chance is possible? How can you know that things will be different this time around? Here are a few ideas to ponder when thinking about giving your ex a second chance.

1. Have they changed? Have you?

The relationship ended for a reason, if not many. Maybe both of you had a hand in creating the issues that ultimately lead to the demise of your union. Now that the relationship is over, perhaps you've both had time to think about those things. Has your ex been working on those issues? Have they explored what it was about them or their actions that made the relationship impossible at that time? Have you been doing the same? Time is an important factor when considering whether they, or perhaps both of you, have changed enough to give it another chance. People may want to change, they may even realize that they need to in order to be in a stable, loving relationship, but they don't do it overnight. Some behaviors take longer than others to change, and certainly individual attempts at change vary in the time they take to accomplish. If it's only been a week or two since you've dissolved your relationship, chances are that not enough time has passed for any changes the person has made to have become part of them. That is to say, they may seem like they've changed, but has it been long enough to become permanent? In this case, it is more important that they demonstrate the change on a consistent basis before you decide if you're going to give them a second chance.

2. Are you simply lonely?

It's been a while since the break-up. You've been going out but you just haven't met anybody that seems interesting or at least seems like a potential prospect for a new relationship. You're lonely. You start (or maybe never stopped) thinking about all the good times you had with the ex and you crave that companionship, that comfortable embrace and the sound of their voice. That's when they call. They want to know if you'll take them back, give them another chance.

Stop.

Loneliness after a break-up can be particularly painful. You feel as though a piece

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