HUMOR: LETTER TO SANTA CLAUS
Dear Santa, It has been about a year since I wrote to you. I hope you are well and that Mrs Claus and the baby Claus' are very happy and well too. This year has passed so quickly Santa and life has been difficult it would be wonderful to see you Christmas Eve.
I know you get a lot of letters but when I wrote to you a year ago I asked you to kindly drop a big ten bedroom house down my chimney for me. I put a nice photo of me in there with the letter. Did you get it Santa? I am the blonde with blue eyes who wears low cut tops and mini skirts.
For many years I have longed to have a bigger and much nicer house. There was a list with my letter where I asked for such a house, a decent new car, some jewellery, stocks and shares and pots of money. The post has been terrible so I know that when you did not drop these things down my chimney last Christmas it was because you never received the letter. Do not worry, I am suing the postal service for this. They had a cheek not to deliver such an important letter.
Today I write again with the same list of wishes dear Santa. You are a lovely man and I promise to leave you a heap of mince pies and two bottles of the very best whisky. If you give me the ten bedroom house, car, jewellery, stocks and shares and pots of money I will even give you a lovely kiss and cuddle. By the way I am 22 years old, curvy figure, sexy eyes, kissable lips and very friendly. Think it would be wise if you come along and do not bring Mrs Claus or any of the elves with you, do not want them to go back to Mrs Claus and tell her! My name is Honey Lips and I live at 312 Little Avenue. You cannot miss it as it is next door to the Church. There will be a meal of carrots for your rheindeers. Cannot wait to see you Santa.
Honey x x x x x x x x x x x
p.s. re the ten bedroom house, I would prefer it be in Hollywood, the best part of the area of course, with a swimming pool, several acres of ground, security gates and beautiful gardens. re the car, I really like Mercedez Benz. You are wonderful darling Santa.