by Joshua K. Bradshaw

Created on: October 29, 2009   Last Updated: October 30, 2009

Yes, I responded in the 'no' category but hear me out. I'm not saying you can't under any circumstances be friends with your ex. However, you should seriously consider why you broke up with him/her in the first place. Do this before placing yourself in a potentially emotionally painful situation. The whole 'can't we just be friends' idea is complicated by the fact you once had romantic feelings for that person. It would be difficult after crossing that line to simply return to the 'friends' stage.

Don't begin a new romance without ending the old one

When you break up, you go through at least some unavoidable heartache. After the pain subsides and you can think clearly again, you may decide to begin a new relationship. It would be unfair, however, if you had never got over the ex to carry those feelings into your current situation. If you still constantly think about him/her and wishing things could've been different, you are stalling the healing process. Your current partner will be rightfully resentful if you spend excessive time talking about your ex. Additionally, your ex will be frustrated being second place in your life if you keep leading them on. It's a lose-lose situation.

You can still keep things civil with the ex

While maintaining a close friendship might not be the best idea, civility is an absolute must. Your ex and you should not hold onto the old pain and resentment. Things simply didn't work out for whatever reason, so bury the hatchet and move forward with your lives. Perhaps it would be best if you viewed them as an acquaintance rather than a friend.

If you are uninvolved

Depending on the circumstances surrounding the breakup, you may feel the desire to reconcile with the ex. If you are uninvolved with anyone else, doing so wouldn't be unfair to anyone. This means returning to the romance stage of the relationship. Personally, I would feel weird about trying to just be platonic friends with someone who I had romantic feelings for at one time, but that's just me. You can try to be platonic friends, but those old feelings could still be there and make things awkward. It's funny, it seems like half of the popular songs out there are about falling in love and the other half are about breaking up. Whatever your decision, please factor into account not just your own feeling but those of the others who are involved in this sensitive situation.

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